this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
