i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
sex in a hospital.. check
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
