If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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