I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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