You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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