Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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