i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
