Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Are we still banned from the library?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
