508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
