Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
