Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Text me some of your sweat
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
