My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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