i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
