thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
