Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
