I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
There was a lot of him and a little penis
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
