i already hear my dad disowning me
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
