How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
