Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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