I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
