yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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