He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
