Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
