I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
