it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I have already put on my inside pants.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize