i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
There's even glitter on my cock...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize