also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
