just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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