i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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