I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
