I skipped work to stalk him.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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