the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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