Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
