I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
