jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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