I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Tornado booty call.. dedication
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
