He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
