I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
