The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
