Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
