I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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