so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
