That's intense
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
