Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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