I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
