bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
