i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
