Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
