What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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