he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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