haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize