My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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