Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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