I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
