if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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