ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
