Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
