I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
