I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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