Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
