During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
