It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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