my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
