I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
