Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
